Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

Grade:   F
Not recommended.

Can I give this an F-?  Because I really really want to, it's just that bad. Or would my point be more succinct if I recommended it for my worst enemies, sociopaths and women who really hate men?

Gone Girl seems to be the it book that everyone who reads is reading.  People saw me reading the book and say "oh you're reading Gone Girl, don't you just love it?"  Um, no, not at all.  It's the story of a couple Nick and Amy who are celebrating their 5th wedding anniversary when Amy mysteriously disappears.  Sounds like the beginnings of a great thriller right?  The story is told in alternating voices, one being the hubby Nick's and the other being Diary Amy.  Diary Amy is exactly that, it is Amy's story told in diary entries that she has concocted.  Nick falls far short of winning Husband of the Year while Amy appears to be the golden child trust fund brat.  The cops get involved and the story goes from weird to WTF in no time.
Part of me hears my mom's voice in my head telling me if I don't have anything nice to say that I shouldn't say anything.  The bigger part of me wants to spare others the agony of wasting precious reading time on this, so scathing review ahead.

There is A TON of swearing in the book.  It's a lot of swearing even for me and I cuss like a sailor (although somehow restrain myself here).  I do enjoy a well placed f-bomb when the language adds to the story, but this was complete overkill.  Like Stephen King overkill.  The writing is rather pompous and smug, and the plot twists are predictable and overly ridiculous.  If you think about where you imagine the story going, you can probably figure out the ending before 100 pages.  If you want to guess at the ending, message me and we will have some fun.  Characters in the book are absurd and some even entirely pointless.  When a side character goes catfish gigging with dry cat food, I smacked my forehead and groaned out load.  Come on, Gillian Flynn!  That's the best redneck stereotype you can come up with?!  Another irritant is that Nick's sister is named Margot, and goes by Go for short.  When sentences start with Go, it takes a little extra time to figure out if it's being used as a verb, noun or adjective.  There was nothing pleasant about reading this, not one redeemable part and I finished the book only to validate my early prediction of the ending.  Not fun when your guess is spot-on and you're barely past page 50.

If you want to read a book about a miserable married suburban couple, try Revolutionary Road instead.  The writing is so much better and the story is shorter.  Oh and I don't remember much cussing in that one either.          

If you absolutely must read this, download an excerpt first.  Otherwise, don't say that I didn't warn you!