The Weird Sisters by Eleanor Brown

Grade: F

I won't waste your time with a full review of this book.  It is because of this book that I am starting a new rule with all books.  If after 3 chapters your book does not hold my interest, I will not finish it.  Life is too short to spend reading bad books. 

My main issue with this book was that the idea has been done before.  A mother is sick with cancer and her adult children come home to take care of said sick mother.  Throw in sick mom's husband's obsession with all things Shakespeare and that about sums the book up.  The subject matter didn't bother me as I absolutely loved Anna Quindlen's One True Thing.  My issue with this book is that it just bored the pants off me.

Moral of the story kiddos...life is too short to spend reading lousy books.

Moonlight Mile by Dennis Lehane

ISBN:

Grade:  A

Moonlight Mile is yet another fine effort by Dennis Lehane, another Patrick and Angie story and an excellent follow up to Gone Baby Gone.

Let's start off with the fact that Dennis Lehane holds nothing back in this book.  The highlights:

- lots of f bombs and I do mean lots
- disses of Paris Hilton and Lil Wayne (about time these fools were called out on their nonsense)
- a mention of carrying a gun that is as appealing as kale
- Russian mobsters who feel so real you can hear them in your head (think Nikolai from Six Feet Under)
- a jab at Kindles

The story starts with Amanda McCready going missing again.  How can a girl who went missing as a toddler go missing again as a 16 year old.  Easy when one draws double assholes in the parenting department as Lehane eloquently summed up Amanda's misfortune.  Having a mother like Helene is barely a step above being a feral child.  Add in Helene's skeevy boyfriend Kenny and it's a recipe for disaster.  Amanda appears to have turned out okay considering her crappy start to life.  She's attending a private school and getting excellent grades and will head to an Ivy league school.  What Amanda doesn't have are friends, except for a girl named Sophie who turns out to be a little screwed up too.

So Patrick is on the hunt for Amanda and Sophie which like any reader familiar with Lehane would expect, turns out like a three ring circus.  There are run ins with some nasty yet humorous Russian mobsters that shave years off Patrick's life from stress alone, and a surprising connection between the Russian Mob and Amanda.  I don't want to say too much more for fear of spoiling the book for you all.  I will say that the Patrick and Angie series seems to be wrapped up, which is a bit disappointing but at the same time I really have to wonder if it really is the end.  We learn that Patrick and Angie have a little girl named Gabby and the family dynamic is truly charming.

What Lehane does masterfully is write the best books in the crime thriller genre.  It should really be called the Dennis Lehane genre as no other author comes close to his talents.  The characters feel real even though most of us don't have life experiences like any of the characters.  The dialog is excellent and you can almost hear the characters speaking in your head.  There is humor, violence, suspense and more in a gripping page turner.  This is a book that you'll lose track of time reading, it's that engrossing.   And it's definitely one that should be made into a movie. 

If you're a fan of Lehane's previous books, you'll love this.  If you are just now meeting Patrick and Angie, Moonlight Mile can stand on its own without relying on Gone Baby Gone.  If you've never read anything by Lehane before and just know him for the Mystic River and Shutter Island movies, give this book a try.  If anyone can read this and not enjoy it, I probably don't want to know what books are on your bookshelves.  So give Moonlight Mile a try...try it you'll like it as the commercial says.  It won't require a big chunk of your time and you'll be a Lehane fan afterward.

The Emerald Atlas by John Stephens

ISBN:   

Grade:  B-

The Emerald Atlas is a fun YA fantasy book, the first in a trilogy written by a guy with ties to the Gossip Girl and Gilmore Girls tv shows.  Don't judge the book based on those tv shows as they have no commonalities.

The Emerald Atlas is the story of 3 orphans Kate, Michael and Emma who are bounced from one orphanage to another after their parents mysteriously left when they were little.  The 3 siblings are passed over time and time again because not many people want to adopt 3 kids at once and the youngest Emma is a bit difficult.  The last orphanage they are sent to is run by a wizard named Dr Pym and they are the only 3 children there.  The orphanage is in a dark dreary town called Cambridge Falls that was once flourishing with life and children.  Kate, Michael and Emma quickly discover that all is not as it seems at the orphanage, quickly discovering hidden passageways and a mysterious study where they find a most interesting book.  The kids stumble upon a book with blank pages that allows them to travel back and forth through time when a picture is placed in the pages.  They learn that an evil countess is holding the children of Cambridge Falls hostage while forcing their parents to dig for the book the kids discovered.  The kids are the chosen ones that have the power to right the wrongs of the evil countess and return the town to its previous flourish.  What follows is a fun story with all kinds of interesting characters including dwarfs and dementor-like beings that will have you laughing quite frequently.

Overall, I liked the book.  It wasn't like Harry Potter where I was instantly hooked, but still a worthy read.  Part of Harry Potter's charm was that it was told in a British voice, so I can't fault John Stephens for that.  My main dislikes were the sibling banter which at times grated on my last nerve and made me thank my lucky stars that I don't have a teenager at home to deal with.  That and at times I think the plot could have been tighter, pages here and there omitted.  Still worth checking out, and I will read books 2 and 3 in the series. 

Update

Fear not my minions, I am back and reading furiously.  Where was I you ask, well everything started over a week ago when I wound up in the ER in excruciating pain that turned out to be a kidney stone the size of a pea.  Sounds like fun doesn't it? 

The pain came out of nowhere, I was sitting at the computer checking emails and was blindsided with pain in my back and lower right abdomen.  It felt like someone had just stabbed me.  So I laid down on the couch and told Mark that I was in agony and called my mom.  My first instinct was appendicitis, which in hindsight I wish it was that way it could have been removed and the pain would have stopped in a more reasonable amount of time.  So after consulting with Dr Mom, we packed up and went to the ER since the pain was showing no signs of letting up, and I'm pretty tough when it comes to pain.  The ER was a pain in the ass.  They took my vitals after about an hour and a half which was rocket speed compared with the rest.  After the vitals, they stuck me in the world's most uncomfortable wheelchair for the wait of a lifetime for a bed.  Whoever does ER triage needs to be slapped in the back of the head.  Making someone wait with excruciating abdominal pain that could be appendicitis while little Tommy and Billy get stitched up and casted is nonsense.  Those kids were not bleeding profusely nor had bones sticking out of any skin, they could have waited.

I think it took something like 4 or 5 hours to get a bed.  So in comes doc who asks about the symptoms and poke around my belly saying that the pain must not be too bad since he was poking pretty hard.  Um, jerk store my pain was way deeper than your hands could ever palpate.  I told you that, you didn't listen.  After a pelvic exam, an ultrasound was ordered and so was a CT scan.  The CT scan, what fun that was having contrast shoved up my arse that made me puke my brains out an hour later.  Ultrasound showed nothing, CT scan showed a medium sized kidney stone.  The kidney stone could pass on its own, or it could need to be busted up and passed, so the waiting game starts.

Now ER docs are not very well versed in kidney stones, so they shoo you out of there with some expensive name brand scripts and tell you to call a urologist.  Now let's take into account what time of year this is, approaching Turkey day.  Apparently to get an appointment with a urologist within a reasonable amount of time requires either a secret handshake or password.  No one at any urologist's office cares that pain is a 27 on a 1 - 10 scale.  So I was stuck at home in agony, throwing up every half hour, no matter that stomach contents had long since been emptied.  Add in abdominal spasms all over my right side, made getting any rest or any liquids impossible.  The first three days home were spent throwing up and sleeping in 2 hour spurts.  Now mind you, my Mark had to go back to work, so I was left to fend for myself, easier said than done.  So after a few more days I got fed up with being left on my own and packed up to Hospital Mom.

Hospital Mom was a lot better than having a lab/pit mix as a nurse while my husband couldn't be bothered to check in on me.  So after the constant vomiting stopped and I could graduate to Gatorade and toast, the abdominal spasms tried their best to kill me.  ER doc gave me a script for a fistful of pills naively assuming that a urologist would see me in a matter of days.  Thank god I had an emergency stash of pain pills and muscle relaxers that could take down an elephant, but barely did anything for the spasms and agonizing pain.  Happy Turkey day...not!

Let's not forget the pee screen that I was supposed to use.  Maybe a urologist has better pee screens, but since those appointments take weeks to get, I had to attempt to use what they gave me in the ER which was next to impossible.  When your electrolytes are way off and your entire body is seriously malfunctioning where you can barely walk without passing out, peeing into a little screen was no easy task.  Plus everyone told me that passing this stone would be torture.  So I figured I'd know if I passed it or not.

Well over a week later and the pain has simmered to a tolerable level and the spasms have stopped.  I have no clue where this stone is, I don't think I passed it but I don't have a clue in hell.  Hopefully next week's urologist can tell me more and explain why I got this damn stone.

I rarely eat fast food, never drink sugary pop, drink close to a gallon of water a day and have a diet that's not loaded with calcium.  Why I got a kidney stone is beyond me.  Hopefully this is the one and only time I'll have to suffer with this and I'm crossing my fingers that the urologist will have some answers.  

The Fates Will Find Their Way by Hannah Pittard

ISBN:  9780061996054

Grade:  A+

Eternal thank yous to the good people at HarperCollins and Ecco Books!  Thank you a million times for sharing Hannah Pittard with us and introducing us to this gem of a novel.  This is my honest opinion, enthusiasm like this cannot be faked.

So after finishing The Fates Will Find Their Way, I have realized that this is likely to be the best book of 2011 and should be a huge hit.  The book cover will catch your attention with its colorful nature and once inside the pages you will not be disappointed.  This is a book that can be finished in one sitting, but I chose to savor each page not wanting this story to end.  The last 20 pages had me holding my breath at times.

So what is the book about?  It's a story about a girl named Nora who at 16 goes missing on Halloween.  It is not just a story about a missing girl, but a story of a missing girl and the impact on the community.  The story is told from a very unique point of view, first person plural from a local group of boys Nora attended school with.  The narrator is never named and never needs to be, which is much of the charm of this book.  The boys tell the story of Nora and their fantasies of her.  What happened to Nora is never fully defined, and that works like perfection.  The reader is allowed to imagine what happened to Nora.  Did she voluntarily get into someone's car and go to the airport?  Was she abducted and killed?  Did she escape from her abductor and die alone in the cold woods?  Was she pregnant and fled to start a new life in Arizona?  Did she live happily ever after?  What happened to Nora is unique to each an every one of us readers, and might be different each time the book is read and re-read.  What also needs to be mentioned is that Pittard writes from the point of view of adolescent boys effortlessly.  Some authors struggle with writing from the perspective of the opposite gender.  Hannah Pittard writes so well that at no point does the reader ever think that teen boys would have done something differently.  

Equally important to the story is Nora's sister Sissy.  Sissy was cared for by the boys and even loved by one in particular.  She was lusted after however inappropriate it may be to lust for the sister of a missing girl.  These feelings of desire ultimately led to Sissy going away to school and not returning for quite some time.

Another reason why this book gets such an enthusiastic response from me is that there is no hook to reel you in on the first page.  The whole book is the hook, compelling the reader to keep on going.  There are no lulls in the story and at no time could I predict what was going to happen in the next chapter.  All true signs of a great novel.

The characters were so well written that I could really picture them in my mind, quirks and all.  No two characters were alike.  Each character was artfully placed into the story, not one feeling unnecessary.  There was not one awkward word or any word that did not belong.  The story is also realistic and down to earth, although no one could ever wish for this to happen to their own community.  The dynamics between the boys felt like what real 16 year old guys behaved like, different maturity levels but all banded together in a brotherhood of sorts.    

We got to imagine what Nora would or could have been, and we also got to see the evolution of a group of high school boys as they grew into adults never quite forgetting about Nora.  We also got a look inside the inner workings of the families from a Russian vixen mom, a suicidal mom, and equally dysfunctional dads.

Suffice it to say, anyone will be a Hannah Pittard believer after reading this book.  This book will also renew anyone's faith in great literature.  All of us at some point have been let down and disappointed by a book or books.  The Fates Will Find Their Way soothes that, it soothes the soul.  This book can easily stand next to a Joyce Carol Oates with utmost confidence.  

Right now I just can't shut up about this book.  I talk about it to everyone I know, and will be discussing it with the book club this month.  If there is a Hannah Pittard bandwagon or a cheerleader squad, I'm all aboard.  Everyone should read this superb novel as it is perfection.

The Book Of Ruth by Jane Hamilton

Grade:  F

Some may think this review to be vicious, but the book club thinks it's bluntly honest.  I don't have it in me to summarize this book other than saying, or rather shouting DO NOT READ THIS BOOK!  Seriously don't bother, it's not worth is at all.  There are so many other books out there more deserving of a read than anything Hamilton writes.

A little background for those not in the book club.  We had previously read When Madeline Was Young and were bored senseless with a very disjointed book.  The premise of that story was interesting...the dynamics of a family composed of a man and his second wife, their kids, and his brain injured first wife with the intellect of a 6 year old.  The plot had potential to be a fabulous story (had it been written by anyone besides Hamilton) but it turned into more of a political commentary about the Vietnam War.  

We decided to give Jane Hamilton another try since The Book of Ruth got better reviews (and certain members watched the movie on Lifetime recently).  Huge mistake!  TBoR was no different than When Madeline Was Young.  Both were boring as could be to read, and could have been fantastic in the hands of any other writer (besides Jodi Picoult).  

What I learned from reading this book:

- Jane Hamilton cannot write an interesting story to save her life

- I should have trusted my instincts and not read another Hamilton book

- There was a reason the used book store had boatloads of copies that they were selling for $1

Lastly, the most enjoyable part of this book was ripping each and every page out and shredding the entire book.  Don't worry, the shreds went into the recycling.  And I was not the only person with a strong reaction...2 other members burned the book. 

The Distant Hours by Kate Morton

ISBN:   9781439152782

Grade: F

I would love for someone, anyone, to explain the Kate Morton appeal to me...pretty please.  After finishing this behemoth of a book, I think I deserve some sort of prize.  The ARC clocks in at just under 700 pages.  Had I been in a bookstore purchasing this book, if it were not available in hardcover I don't think I'd buy a paperback of such heft.  As much as I dislike e-readers, in the case of The Distant Hours an e-book would have been a blessing.

I wanted to like this book, really I did.  With a character named Juniper, what's not to like right?  Wrong.  The highlight of the book was the prologue which was a fictitious story about a Mud Man.  The rest of the book was a chore to read.  It's hard to review this book without spoiling everything, so I'll keep the details sparse should any of you choose to read this book (against my better judgment).

My first hint should have been seeing a woman at my car dealership reading a different Morton title, The Forgotten Garden and falling asleep numerous times.  Not just nodding off either, full blown snoring sleeping.  Morton's books all are quite lengthy the shortest being 600 pages and all their covers are alike, a pretty picture with pretty colors of a garden, a castle or some sort of landscape scene.  A bit formulaic in my opinion, but it works as there are nothing but glowing reviews of this latest book (except mine). 

The storyline is during WWII children in London were evacuated due to bombing (I had to google what that was all about).  A woman is picked up by an eccentric woman named Juniper and taken to live at her castle with her 2 twin sisters.  Juniper writes a letter to the woman which gets lost in time and delivered 50 years later.  This woman's adult child Edie has her curiosity peaked when her mother has an emotional reaction to receiving said letter.  Naturally fate would have it so that Edie literally runs into the castle when she gets lost in the country.  She meets up with a local at a bookstore who tells her about the castle and its history and says they give tours.  Edie takes a tour and meets the 3 aging spinsters with equally unique names, Persephone (Percy), Seraphina (Saffy) and Juniper.  This is about the time when I started groaning while turning each page.  It reads like architecture porn.  The pacing was so slow that by the time anything of any interest happened, my interest had long since faded. 

By the end of the book, I just didn't care about any of the characters or the castle.  I just wanted to book to end so that I could review it and forget about reading it.  The Distant Hours felt sloppy and hurried, and also unnecessarily long and wordy. 

Would I recommend this...only if the idea of reading 700 pages or architecture porn gets you excited and you don't mind reading something with such slow pacing.  Would I read another Kate Morton novel...no freakin' way, not even if Dwight Schrute read it to me.